in time. ( part two )

I’ll be honest. I procrastinated writing this one.

And just. like. that. I was back in the old pattern of mental masturbation.

And why? Well, living ‘in time’ is a practice. And when I got thinking about step two of how to tackle this human challenge (step one, read here!), well I got all like “Well, maybe I’ll go make a cup of tea or two of three first!”

Acceptance.

For me, it feels like the hardest thing for this human vessel to navigate… But okay, here I am. Ready to give it a go — every day, ad infinitum.

So, step one — we surrender. We let go and we let life. And then step two — we decide to accept ourselves in that space — naked and real.

I can promise you now. When you get naked with yourself, when you choose to reveal your self to yourself … you will freak out.

You will want to run away from accepting who you are. You will want to change things. You will want to self-sabotage so that you have reasons beyond yourself, to not have to listen to your self.

And then, once you get through all that bullshit, you will find you. And you will find that you are in love with who you are.

Because damn! There ain’t nobody like you, living in (this) time.

One of the most recommended authors I have yet to fully read the works of, is Julia Cameron who beautifully says in ‘The Artist’s Way’ that “In order to create, we draw from our inner well.”

Acceptance doesn’t just happen. It takes work. And we need to understand what our reserves look like. Importantly — how do you fill them up?

When you can accept who you are and how you operate, you will quickly recognise where you draw your energy from. If you found that this is from something or someone outside of yourself, you’ve gone off track, darling.

You need to fill your well, from within you. Other things and people may, no they will, mismanage their reserves, leaving you out and dry. I mean, it’s your bucket of life. Don’t go kicking it over while you are actually still alive.

When you dip in, you want to know you gonna grab some magic.

I’ve heard some people calling it — find your mojo. Well, whatever you want to call it, I have come to realise that it is not so much about finding it.

I believe it exists and is created from a space within you — called joy.

Do not be mistaken. I am not referring to happiness. Money can buy you happiness (no matter what they say). But joy… you can’t buy that. You have it. You never lose it. We just forget what it looks like, sometimes.

What does following your joy look like to you?

Rather what does it feel like? The most beautiful thing happens each time I choose to follow my joy. It is that the acceptance of my self opens up to me — like a sunflower turning to the sun.

Sunflowers have been on my mind for a couple of months. In fact, come to think of it, they started showing up in my thoughts whenever I was making decisions that served my purpose and drove my passion.

You can not hold one and stare it in the face, or be in a field of them, staring at you (I can not help but laugh when I see this in my mind’s eye). None of that, without feeling joy emanating from every bit of their beings.

Not only do they turn toward the sun, reminding us to look to and stay in the light, but they look like little suns. The core of their beings wide open — round, big and bold in brown — naked and ready to soak up the world.

And they know very well about digging deep to stand tall. Sunflowers fill up by drawing water from crazy depths of earth.

So, when acceptance gets tough (and it will!), be the sunflower within you. Surrender to the sun. Stay in your light. Look deep for your strength. And then —

Open up. Get naked. Be real with the world. Stand grounded as you do so.

My wish for you — that you will allow yourself to fill your bucket by following your joy. And unconditionally accept who you find yourself to be in that space — truly alive in this time.

Ps. Shine and share your light. Sunflowers grow in fields, together.